Happy Birthday to Me...Wow, 31.

This was just a year ago for my big 3-0! This year, the group may differ slightly, but no matter what, I'll be with my pals! Thanks to all of you who make me get out and celebrate! See....birthdays to me are just another day, but a day you feel a little special because of the attention you get. No, I have never EVER been a big attention-seeker and would never throw my own big bash because I don't expect my birthday to be a celebration for anyone else. I'm telling you...Facebook hit the nail on the head when they included birthday reminders because it makes the birthday girl (or boy) feel so special and loved on that great day of birth!

This year, I'm thinking how awesome is it that ALO (Animal Liberation Orchestra) is playing at the Rathskeller on my birthday?! Let me paint you a visual picture of the Rathskeller if you don't know what it is...

A quaint outdoor stage surrounded with a shell and cool decor hanging from the roof. picnic tables all over a rock bottom, fenced in garden of AWESOMENESS with good beer and food! Probably the best outdoor arena for a band. Not to mention, ALO is pretty big. They aren't locals, so I'm super pumped they're here and on my bday. I feel bad asking people to join us there because it's a $10 cover and I don't want anyone to think "Jeez...she's wanting us to join her to celebrate, but we have to pay $10 just to get in!" Oh well, I'm sorry people. For reals. I'm excited! Out of school, turning 31, summer starting, good tunes, good bevs, and another full day of drinking on Friday! Thank you thank you thank you! Happy Birthday to me.

It's gonna be a 7th grade summer!

At first, you may think "Oh! She's teaching 7th grade summer school!" Heck no. I'm job-free this summer, thank you very much. However, I mean it's gonna be a 7th grade summer when we lived on our bikes and didn't get off of them except to eat, lounge, or when the "street lights came on". Yes, folks, I'm getting a bike today! I'm so excited. See, Friday night, some co-worker pals and I hung out and had a few refreshing bevs along with an intense catchphrase tournament. We had to switch it up each round because otherwise, Codie and I would've DOMINATED big time. Anyway, Codie fetched some pies from Little Caesar's (yes, this is the 2nd time I've mentioned LC's in my blog posts, which is so weird because I have rarely even thought of LC's before!), so me and Ferrell decided to go cruisin on bikes. It was so dang fun, I can't believe I haven't bought a bike since, well my pre-16 years.

So I get on Craig's List and search. I find a pretty sweet ride, only $50. So I email the owner, he still has it and I am calling him after 5 today to get directions and pick up my early birthday present to yours truly. I'm telling you...I'm LIVING on that bike this summer! Getting to the pool, courtesy of Big Blue (it's a bright blue Schwinn with a new gel seat, thank you Mr. Bike Seller Man), trips to meet my friend, Dara, for coffee, courtesy of Big Blue, maybe having an afternoon Summer Shandy on Mass Ave, courtesy of Big Blue....and of course, fun rides with any of my bike-owning companions.



I overheard a girl at Starbucks the other night say "I don't drive anywhere any more. I only ride my bike. When I first started biking, I lost weight and couldn't stop! I lost 20 lbs, and then started building muscle." DING DING DING DING! That's all I needed to hear. BUILDING MUSCLE! This bod needs some toning so bike=nonflabby, I'll take it! Here's to building muscle, living like I'm 13 again, and SUMMER, my favorite time of the year!

"Inmate Idol"

Did I hear this correctly? I heard it on the radio but who knows what is a joke and what is serious any more, especially when I listen to Bob & Tom and they are nothing but jokes (thank you, by the way).

Back to the topic...INMATE IDOL! It's not a joke, folks. NOT A JOKE. In fact, it's super serious. WHOA WHOA WHOA...sidenote. I'm watching the aforementioned Idol results show and Bieber-boy is on. I'm so over hearing about him. First, your name should be BEAVER because Bieber just sounds improper. Additionally, he sounds like a female and looks like he is 10..for reals. AND....he got a tattoo the other day! Here's my one positive comment about the Bieb: at least his songs are appropriate for our kids to listen to (for which to listen).

Back to the topic (again!)....Inmate Idol is so super serious. It's exactly what it sounds like. Allowing inmates to perform songs in front of a sea of inmates, and compete. I just saw a commercial on t.v. WOW. Amazing. And if I hear the clip of that guy singing in the commercial one more time, well, I'm gonna kick my dog. JUST KIDDING! I wouldn't kick her...for that reason, at least! JOKES, peeps, JOKES! Ok, Biebs just jammed out for 5 seconds on a set of drums and the whole crowd JITP (acronym from SNL...great song/video, actually JIMP...figure it out). I'm outty 5G (what does that even mean?). Adios. Inmate Idol?? Sheesh!

and you're complaining that the Idol results show is being cut in half??

Wow...if you are crying and complaining about the Idol results show being cut down to a half an hour, raise your hand! Now, I'm going to smack you in the face so you snap out of it. HELLO, people! The results show should really only be as long as any normal commercial break. Come on the air, sans Ryan Seacrest, say who is cut (no bottom 2 or 3!), and let normal programming air. It's not hard to figure out, FOX...it's evident you pack as much "fluff" as you can into an hour just to give us the results in some ridiculous NOT edge-of-your-seat fashion...stretching it all out. JUST SAY WHO GOT BOOTED!! So, again, who's crying about it being cut down to STILL a program 25 minutes TOO long? Ok, now.

Shouldn't a "deposit" be called a "down payment"?

I mean, really....every apartment I've EVER inhabited has required a deposit, which insinuates you will "get it back" at some point in time. NOT SO MUCH. I mean, have I ever gotten one back? A deposit for a locker at King's Island is a quarter or maybe 10 by now (inflation!!), and that's just so you have a key to a locker. A deposit for a loaner cart at Aldi is a quarter and that's so they won't have to hire a cart guy (or girl!), which is GENIUS, I tell ya, and you STILL GET THE QUARTER BACK. And a deposit for an apartment shouldn't be any different. I mean, coming up with two months' rent if the said apartment is $1000 is kinda ridiculous. (For me, at least). Anyway, I think this is the ridiculous part...

The landlord expects you to clean the apartment upon departure, HOWEVER, they hire these cleaning people for apparently $1000 an hour (cost of deposit!) to come clean the moment you leave. So, why did I just take 4 hours to clean it in HOPES of getting my "deposit" of $1000 back?? I know, it's also in case you bail on the last month's rent, but I've never bailed, so why don't I win the deposit lottery at the end of my lease? It's something to ponder...

Piddle Pad

So, I have a dog. She is almost 12 years old (even though her records show TWO birthdays...) and in the past couple or few years, her new hobby has become peeing inside. She loves to do this! So, I've used piddle pads for ages, but they really get costly for how popular her hobby has become, and I felt bad thinking of landfills with her piddle pads (they could be filling their own landfill!). So, I saw the "green alternative", a pad that could be thrown in the washing machine and washed up to 300 times, for about $25. So, yea, I bought it! First few times, awesome! Then I washed and washed a few more, and the stupid thing started to leak wetness, not a full stream of urine, but the wetness was seeping through and ruining the wood floor. (Luckily, I rent, but still...DEPOSIT!? But really, that leads me to a whole NEW blog post!)

The pad came with a guarantee, so they had UPS pick it up and they inspected it, then sent a new one out to me. Great, you are probably thinking. No, this one is just as awful, if not worse, because I came home Thursday and moved the pad to wash it, and low and behold, there is a new permanent "tattoo" on the wood floor in front of the kitchen sink...it seems to resemble a certain rectangular PAD that was previously there. UGH! How awful!? I've let it air out, no good...still BLACK. I would post a pic but not sure the ol' Dell laptop is going to allow such shenanigans. Oh, and how could I forget to mention the wonderful scent? The pad is supposed to be good for a few "potties" then washed. I absolutely cannot stand the urine odor any more. But, am I supposed to wash it more often and have the 300 washes be done in like 2 months? I don't know. Why can't the ridiculous dog just go potty outside? This would really solve a lot of issues.